I came across this article and this article in Education Week and thought about them for a while—so much of what I hear from program staff is they are seeing really high levels of behavioral needs from multiple students, all at the same time. This article affirms what many of us had suspected for a while: children are having more intense behaviors and their coping skills are not up to speed like previous cohorts of kids. This may be due, in part, to pandemic learning disruptions and their impact on decreased emotional regulation; other folks are saying that increased screen time could have something to do with it too. Whatever it is, many of us are leaving our workdays feeling drained, overwhelmed, and just grateful to make it through another week.

While there is no magical solution to addressing this that’s one-size-fits-all, there are some strategies we can use throughout our workday to increase our tolerance in processing stress and preventing burnout. Today, I’m going to share some tools you can use to shift your reactions to responses when things become chaotic to ground back into your body.

Working with kids is extremely rewarding, but as many of us know, there are also points that can be particularly challenging, especially when we ourselves might not have had the easiest time being a young person. Sometimes we’re triggered by certain behaviors of theirs, and that can set off a cascade of emotional and punitive reactions to try and regain “control” of the situation.

No shame here, but I’d guess that many of us have resorted to at least a few of these reactions throughout our careers. It happens, it’s okay, it’s part of being a human. Although not great ones, these are all options of reactions we could have to a difficult moment with our kids. I’m going to offer 3 different options that center self-regulation and self-awareness, and perhaps you can try them out the next time you feel yourself “losing it” during your program.

1. Give yourself space—really, physically give yourself space. Tap out for a bathroom break, walk away to take a sip of water, go out into the hallway for a moment. It is okay to remove yourself for a moment and tap in another staff member to supervise for a few seconds. An escalated adult cannot de-escalate an escalated child. Do what you need to do to collect yourself, then come back to the group. Using that space can give you the 6 seconds you need to consciously choose a response, rather than having a knee-jerk reaction.

2. Name it to tame it—neuroscience tells us that naming our emotions automatically brings our prefrontal cortex back online and helps to calm us down. Don’t believe me? The next time you’re overwhelmed, angry, or stressed, say to yourself, “I’m feeling ____ right now” or “I’m feeling ____ because ____ is happening.” Observe how you feel after. You’ll likely be even a littttle bit more calm.

3. Make a conscious choice for how you respond so it is not a reaction. Reconnect with why you chose to work with kids, what your values and strengths are, and how you would like to show up in this moment.

Let me know if you try this and it works! And feel free to share these tools with your colleagues.